Falseadvertising-alitis

I've been struck down once again by an evil influenza virus, and my head feels as though someone has poured petrol over me and then lit a match. As much as I feel like shit and my brain has melted, it's got me wondering: when this virus was first discovered, what the hell earned it the nickname of a 'cold'?! Surely it would make more sense for it to be called 'makesyourfaceswellandkillsyourtastebuds-alitis'? If the person who invented the 'cold' nickname was still alive, I would take their sorry ass to court. But instead, I'm going to sign off from here and bury my head in a bucket of ice.